Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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