You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
