Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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