Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I love you.
Bad choice
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
