That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
