don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
