True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
