I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Farmville is her only friend.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
