rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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