he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize