That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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