some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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