it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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