Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
