i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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