Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
