i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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