I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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