He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
