how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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