wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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