Buhtt sex?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
