I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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