I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize