Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize