i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize