weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
