Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so let's talk penis.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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