This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You ate ashes out of my bong
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
