We named our party play list daddy issues
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
