Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize