If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
