So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
