it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
