but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
