weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize