u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
