never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
