You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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