She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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