i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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