I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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