god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
