his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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