she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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