awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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