there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
