I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i out mim tonsoeep
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