u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
