we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
