Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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