I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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