Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
