I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
