Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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