so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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