Ambien. No doubt about it.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize