yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
