I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
