I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
