it was like his penis was on wheels.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
