every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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