how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
