if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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