Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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