the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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